7 Things {to give you space to be you}.

I was walking through an apple orchard today while my daughters played under a giant cedar tree.

The sun was cracking against the back of my head and heating up my hair and the air was finally clearing out the winter damp of my soul.  It’s finally spring.  And I was really feeling here, on earth, in the moment. So awake and grateful. And I realized that it has been a really long-ass winter. And I am finally out of the dark. 

The dark of this past winter and even in the falling apart of the previous fall- with the moving states and the changing of almost everything and the turning life upside down once again - I had gotten trapped in another cycle of where life was whipping me hard instead of me loving up against life. 

When my life is flux, which feels like it has been forever now, I tend to practice the not-so-clever act of  “just trying to get through to the other side”, when philosophically I *know* the flux, the transition periods are not something to rush through.  As a mentor and midwife, I know that when when we are in the movement from being fully open to fully birthing, we need to truly feel our way into the next phase, not with rush, but with surrender. Still learning to practice my preach and walk my own talk. Clearly. 

The one word I can use to describe this past erratic cycle is: rush. Even in moments when I was in nature, hiking with the kids, or gardening, there was always something I had to get moving on next, everthing felt rushed and hurried, like I was doing multiple things at mulitple times, even when I wasn’t.   I couldn’t settle in the moment without thinking about what was suppose to happen next.  

What that lead to was dis-ease and unhealthy emotional swings and an disastifaction for life in general.  It lead to shitty creative process and a race to get to the final product.  It was a joy + bliss vampire, whatever it was. 

I had been working my ass off building businesses and endeavors around writing and communicating and I was actully forgetting to use my most healing, mending and creative on-fire practice: intuitive writing.  The kind of writing that is for the sake of writing, for the process, for raw revealing.  Writing what wants to be written instead of forcing what I wanted/needed to be written.   

I wasn’t making my art.  I wasn't making my life my art. 

Basically it pretty much sucked.  Even though I was going through all the motions, my emotions were drying out and my river didn’t feel that sensual flow and fluidity.  There was no self-care happening because I got caught in the cycle of doing soooo many things. I have empathy for myself looking back now…  but in the moments I walked around feeling kinda awful and shameful and asking “How did i become this person? This isn’t ME.” But of course it was all so engained at that point, I wasn’t taking action to change anything.

And then one day I decided to get up and start my day with an old practice of doing nothing and saying nothing until I drank a big ball jar of water.  What instigated it was a particular painful night sleep post wine drinking and forgetting to hydrate before bed.  So it was necessary. But. It felt so good. And the rest of the morning just…flowed. 

So I started drinking water every morning before doing anything else.  

How silly and easy but it created a sense of fluidity and care and femininity immediately. Water. The powerful element of cleansing and creation and abundance and home. And then after a a couple weeks I started drinking water with intention. Praying as I drank.  Infusing the water with desire.  

And then the water began to do other things for me. The water reminded me I was hunger and therefore I should eat. The water asked me to move my body.  I began finding myself stretching again on my living room floor and re-claiming long missed practiced of yoga. And on the mat all these angelic hints came to me, inviting me to live a slower and more intentional, rhythmic and ritrualistic life.  

And that changed everything, really. 

The evolution back into the form of me that I know to be me, that vibrational essence of me, not some sad, tired, tense version of myself.  Just with one simple, easy intentional act of drinkning water.  I was back answering to my highest callings and instincts. 

I think we tend to seek outside of ourselves for so much guidance around getting back to this sweet space of our essence, our imprint.  We try so many things that claim to have all our answers.  I could have went to counseling, coaching, the drug store, the bookstore, etc. to help me out of that slump-  but somehow I listened to my body and drank water. Because I knew somehow, that one small action like water would get back on path. 

We know. We are the only ones.  Who know our own answers.  We know what we need.  We just need to listen and act. 

I started thinking about what- in general terms- what ended up making all the differences for me, beond the water.  What has helped me step into being my own guide and teacher again and feeling entirely in-line with my creative energy.  I wanted to share them with you, because that is what I do- share stories- and also, just in case anything speaks to you, here they are. Maybe something I have done stirs something in you to heal, mend, become, and live life experiencing the feelings you want to feel and the magic that you want to conjure.  We all find our own way on our own terms and on our own unique paths.  But we can also always use insight from our community and people who are doing the work along side us.

Here are 7 simple practices that I use that literally give me space to be me. Because that's what it's all about, right?

Maybe they will resonate with you.  Maybe they will spark other kinds of practices that are more aligned with who you are.  There are no rules. Just actions.  Just permission and invitation. Are you feeling sluggy? In a creative slump? Not getting super down with the moment and feeling tense, rushed, anxious? After you read mine, I invite you to sit down with a piece of paper and write out all the possibilties that could or already do- give you space to be you.  

1. Level The Vibes.  Even when life is rushing you, even when you need to move quickly.  There is an energetic sense of slowness and levelness.  It’s the stillness in the middle of the storm.  I practiced moving slow and using rhythmic breathing as I was rushing my kids out the door late for something.  Or in wild erratic traffic. Or when there were deadlines looming over my head.  I didn’t move any slower or act any faster. I started practicing feeling slow in the middle of the fastness. I practice pulling in when the world was pulling me frantically outward.  I practice on hanging out in the middle when extremes were trying to tug of war me. 

2. Root. We all are connected to the earth.  Our centers are directly dialed in to the center of the earth.  Every day, multiple times a day, I root myself using a cord that begins right behid my own belly button and allowing it to grow down my insides out my pelvic floor straight into the earth and travels all the way to the molton center of our plant and attaches itself right there.  Fully rooted and grounded.  And then I would carry on.  Any time I start to feel myself not connected with what’s holding me up, I do that quick and simple exercise. It brings me back in my body and also with a feeling that I am fully cared for by a larger, most beautiful glorious Mother Earth. 

3. Nourish.  What do you love to eat? What version of that is completely whole food? I am not one to believe in one kind of diet for all people.  We are unique creatures and we have to listen to our bodies.  Intuitive eating means knowing what you body needs and giving it to them.  If your body is used to craving foods that hold no nutrients or energy, begin by giving it similar things that are actually rich in energy and nourishing for the bodies.  If you crave sweet- look into whole food sweets.  Dates stuffed with an almond.  A juicy peach. Sunflower seed butter on an apple. If you like salty foods, try fermented veggies or cucumbers with lots of pink salt on it.  If you need spice, whip up a batch of avocado, lemon and jalepeno dip and eat it straight from the spoon. I am not a health coach or professional foodie,  but I do love to cook and eat. I do know that feeding yourself is important.  And taking the time to plan and prepare and give yourself the space to take in food intentionally is healing and real and right.  You may think you have no time, but you do. I promise. You can’t afford to not have time, you know what I mean? Get totally into herbal teas.  Learn to make nut milks. Make juicing your thing.  Bake bread and use grass fed butter all over it. Think about it.  What works for you and your body? Keep a food diary. And make it easy for you.  Feed yourself what your body needs and make slow love to your food as you eat it. Bless it, too. 

4. Create On The Edge.  Practice all kinds of art that taps into all the little parts of your brain that you might not use.  I recently started taking a dance class that involves learning some choreogrpahed moves.  It literally is turning on places in my brain that I haven’t used since I was a 14 year old cheerleader {true story}. I love to dance, but I usually just freestyle it.  But there is something about using your brain to align moves with the rhythm in a consous way. It opens a new doorway of communication to body/mind. If you are an artist, dive into other types of art, too, as an exercise in creative energy. I started painting and pushing color around a canvas without thinking twice about what was going to come out on the other side.  The painting and dancing create  a new kind of clarity in my life, opening fields around my body, and totally brought my own writing to a different level, something new, which I really needed to have happen.  Doing something different made me show up fully in the process- because since I have no skills in dance or vsual art- it was all about the process and the being open- which somehow allowed me to step into writing again with more of an open, beginner mind- enjoying the process of word flow. 

5. Get Wild.  Go to nature. Like as real as you can get.  Natural and wild environments are the most healing things in the world.  Breathing in ocean and mountain air.  Wandering the forest.  Did you know there is a study that shows one weekend in thick forest could actually regenerate cells and heal forming disease in the body? And don’t take your phone.  Don’t even take other people if you don’t want to.  Make it be self-worship.  Know that you and nature are the exact same thing.  There is no seperation. The beauty of the riverside in the middle of the woods is the beauty and wild of you too. See if you can feel the parts of you that are still untamed and untempered with by systems and role. But just you as an animal on this planet, totally connectied with the moon and the moss, the trees and the cascading of the waterfalls. Remember that your laughter is the color of the flowers and your cry is the cracking of lightning.  Remember you are not disconnected from all that is.  You are wild.  Get in wild. Feel that. It’s life changing. 

6. Ritual. This an entail anything that you want. Literally anything that moves you and helps bring you back home to you.  My peronal daily ritual is: chant, meditate, throw cards for the day and do some yoga.  I do not pressure myself to do it all at the same time, but mostly I do.  I don’t pressure myself to do it at the same time of day, but mostly it happens in the morning.  Sometimes it takes about 1/2 hour.  Sometimes it takes 10 minutes.  Sometime it takes 2 hours. See what I am saying? Be intuitive. Let your unknowning mystery guide you.  What do you love to do? Maybe pray over pouring your tea every single day.  Maybe you write in a journal page every morning.  Maybe you meditate.  Maybe you dance.  But make it your thing. And comitt to it fiercly. It is yours.  Then watch the magic rise up.  Seriously. 

7. Have Sex.  Okay. Maybe you are single. But. That doesn’t mean you can’t have sensual/sexual pleasue.  Cultivate a state of pleasure within your body daily. Get touched. Touch yourself. Move. Rub. Soak. Scrub. The deal is, we need contact, human contact. Connection. And it can be loving self-touch or the touch of another.  Just consider it sacred. Holy. Necessary. Food for the skin + heart + womb. Every day. Just do it. 

We are all intelligent and evolved beings that usually “know what is good for them.”   But actually what happens is we know them so well - but we never committ to action.  

We *must* committ to act and take active care of ourselves.  When we make small + big changes to live a little slower, even for a moment, and become a little more intentional, we heal, we begin to see our illuminated worth in the world and we start to treat others with the level of awareness and attention that this world is crying out for.  We begin to notice the earth as a living, breathing creator/being and we take the time to connect ourselves with her through grounding and food and ritual. 

I have noticed that there is one thing we all desire and need and seek: Connection.  A connection to all that feels good and a connection to our own wisdom.  When we committ to take action to connect, we begin to notice the subtle energy shifts in our own bodies that are the whispers of intuition, are songs that feels like freedom and sustainability.  We become magnets to goodness and if the shadow comes we know how to slow ourselves into it, we can handle the shifts and the transitions and all the things, all 10,00 things- because everything is just a holy reminder that we are alive.  That we are life.  That we are here. 

Let’s all just pracitce being here.  As we are. As cared for beings. Slow. Intentional. Free. 

So get writing. What are 7 ways you can help create a slower, more intentional, and free-flowing, fluid and magical life? Write them.  And then play with them.  Let your words take you to the places you know you need to go.

all love, all the time.