we are all Mothers.

My 8 year old, who just got home last night from surgery looks at me and says

“I am so sorry, Mama. You have to spend your mother’s day taking care of me.”

“Are you kidding me? This is the best gift ever. It’s what being a

mama is all about.”

“But I want you to be able to do something fun for yourself.”

“This is for me. Having you here and being part of your healing. It’s the only place I want to be.”

I love this work. This mothering thing. It is an honor. I may not love some of the other things that seem to be attached to role, the domesticity our Velcros on to it {I suck at that part, truly} but I love the energy of nourishment and healing, to sit still and listen, to show up in love. I love knowing my intuition is based on this feeling, that I am here, holding space for others. Them. But even beyond them. Into the world. I am a mother in many senses of the world, beyond my own children.


This mother thing isn’t about being a certain kind of person.

It isn’t about being a women or even a mother.

I was thinking today, Mother’s Day, about all the humans who were not mothered. All the humans who have not had children. All the humans who don’t relate to “motherhood”. All the humans who feel entirely left out of the celebration and honoring of today. Just all the humans. All of us. This is inclusive. We have too many groups and cliques to separate us. This is something for everyone. Th is is something to bring us all closer together.

I also was thinking about how our culture attaches such strict definitions to things and we have defined and given this day a clear set of rules… that this is about woman who are mothers.

But I want to step back.

I want to break the rules.

I want there to be no rules.

And I want to try and re-define this day. And every day really, this is about something that is living, a living prayer of mine. About honoring something beyond a role or a gender and look at it as an opportunity to embrace and practice embodying an energy. A day to expand our awareness to take hold of this energy- that is less and less respected, honored and cultivated in our culture- in our fast paced, capitalistic, masculine, goal oriented driven world. On days like today we like to think we understand it, but have made it into a Hallmark holiday. 

Mother’s Day, for me, is a day to remember who shows up in service, with a specific vibe about them. Mother’s Day to me, is invitation for us all to become Mother. To own the energy. To do what Mother {as an energy} does: rises up, loves, and protect.

There are so many schools and programs that “teach” us how to be leader, how to be a better leader in our community and our world. How to coach, how to run business, how to make money.

But in my opinion, you cannot lead or teach unless who have some connection to The Mother Energy. This is an energy given to us by Earth, it is the ability to honor rhythms, to show up in nourishment, to hold up and to shelter with love. To refuse limitations and to change what we don't believe in. A true leader will always have service down, first. To serve, from the heart, is to mother.

This Mother Energy has nothing to do with if you knew your mother, or if you have a womb, or if you have carried life in your womb. It has nothing to do with if you go to work full time or stay home, if you breast feed or bottle feed. It has nothing to do with what kind of work you do or if you cook dinner or order take out. It has nothing to do with how "powerful" you are. It has nothing to do with your size or shape or how creative you are.

But instead it’s about all our capacity to serve. Especially for the men. Who tend to step up today and honor the mother in words and actions. But can they show up, in honor of their own Mother Energy? Can they teach it? Can they follow it? Can the see it as the guiding force in their lives? Can they embody their own version of Mother Love? Can they allow that to be their new atlas?

It is a form of Love. And the most divine and powerful kind.

And we are in dire need of more of it. There is a hole in the heart of the world that is wound that can only be healed by this kind of love. 

We all came from a Mother. We all go back to The Mother, the earth, the dirt. 

Mother Mary was always a guide for me. Her prayer was the first one I was ever taught and uttered. She was my first vision of "god".  I have been in conversation with her my whole life. She is my teacher. There was a tree in my front yard and I would lean against it for hours, daydreaming, but always talking to her and listening. The greatest message I ever received was to show up in nurturing compassion, to be a healer through opening the heart and to serve the world, to do whatever it takes to serve the world, the whole world, not just parts of it. Not just where I came from, but also what was unfamiliar. There was nothing in the messages about leading the world. But to serve the world.  Not serve in perfection. But serve in raw,  unconditional truth, the truth of the heart, the ugly mess, the passion, the love, the multi-emotions, the wild, the crazy, from the gut, from the hip, wickedly smart, sensually sexual, all the things:: To serve:: As a Mother.

I have been lucky and blessed enough to have three of my own daughters. I have also be gifted a wonderful, kind, and wise mother who birthed me. Trust me, I have lots of wounds and bullshit I carry around. My life hasn't been perfect. I have major issues. But this isn’t just about me. It’s about all of us.

For those who haven’t had similar experiences as me around mothering, I see you, and I feel you. I do not know how you feel, but I feel you and I honor you. You hold The Mother energy as well. And it is this energy that heals all the stories that have hurt you. How to begin? By mothering yourself, by loving yourself, and by knowing, deep in your heart, you are The Mother, and the world needs your mother energy, more than ever. As much as it needs mine.

There is nothing I know more than this: this practice embodying this energy is effective and powerful. It is an energy we all, in many ways, have been denied. But we have to bring it back. Begin with your heart. Look inside there... it may be cracked and bruised and it may hurt... but you have the most beautiful and giving heart. For those who feel like they don’t have the “mothering” gene, know that you actually do… it is the gene that brings your heart and your compassion forward. It lives in you {and it's not just for making babies}. For those of who think you aren’t a good nurturer… you are. Hold out your hands and give. You have a basket full of otherworldly gifts and wisdom. Pass it out, freely, let the world know them. For those of you who don’t have wombs, who don’t identify as “woman”- know this has nothing to do with gender definitions. This has to do with the energetic of Love. The Love of Mother. It has to do with you. Today is about you, too.

My prayer today, is that we break free from all the stories that keep us from feeling and becoming Mother.

My prayer today is that we all meditate on becoming The Mother.

Because The Mother wants to live in all of us. The Mother wants to be expressed from all of us. The Mother wants to serve the world.

This is how we heal the planet. This is how we care for each and every one of us.

I am calling for leaders, all kinds of humans, who embody this. The ones who don’t close doors and create boundaries. Those who don’t allow for death to be the way to freedom and justice. Those who are brave enough to vibrate the story of forgiveness and compassion, revolution and change. Those who are not scared to be led by intuition and heart. Those who are not scared to hug an "enemy" and feed a stranger. I am calling for those who surround, heal, and open their hearts, and are willing to risk their security for the entire earth population. Who are willing to risk their bank account so other's can simply eat. Those who are willing to let go of themselves, the ego, the expectations - to be there for others. Those who are not scared to cry and let the tears wash away the pain of the world.

As  my little 8 year old winces in pain in bed, I stop everything, including writing this, to wrap my arms around her and hum a song softly into her hair, not too loud becauseshe is so sensitive and not too tightly, because she is so tender. But to practice knowing how to show up, just right, in service to her. Exactly where she is. I will make mistakes today and every day. I will get angry. I will fall on my face. I will struggle with guilt and shame. I will doubt my worth. I will doubt my abilities to embody Mother. For her and for all my work in the world. I will doubt my words. I will doubt this writing. But this is my guiding force. To meet her, my daughter, and all that I meet, exactly where they are. Eye to eye.

I would like to eradicate today as a Day only for those who have been physical mothers. Not that we are not worth an entire day of honoring. It's not that at all.  We should get that kind of honoring daily, we are bad ass bitches. But instead, if we allow today, and all days, about practicing balancing all the other energies we have with The Mother Energy… if we learn to infuse The Mother into informing our decisions and how we work and lead… we become servants. Of Love. Of this world. Natural leaders. Without having to lead by control, force, or greed.

And this. This is my prayer.

That we, as people, all of us, learn to live this life in this basic truth: we are all suffering somehow, we are all dying, we are all trying. And each and every one of us can embrace and show up as The Mother. Divine Mother. Holy Mother. Mother of God. Mother in all her many, many faces. Mother of all. So we can live good and feel loved and be held and be fed… in this very short, very fleeting spec of dust we call Life.

Be the mother. Everyday. Be the one you wish you had.

Be the one that taught you love.

Be the one you wish you were but actually are.

Be The One. Be the One we all want.

We all have it in us.  It is us.

So today, I bow to you. All of you. The Mother in me bows + give thanks to the Mother in you.

photo by Danielle Cohen

photo by Danielle Cohen

Happy Mother’s Day.

love, MB